Friday, May 7, 2010

Because its Mothers Day...

Hmmmm.... I really can't relate to how it feels to be a real mom yet. I am single (not even a single mom-hahaha). I do know how it feels to take care of a bunch of peeps - my spiritual children - grown-ups actually. It is a privilage to partner with our God in helping them in their walk. I do look forward to one day cradling a baby (not just one) in my arms someday. There are times when I go into panic mode - " Lord, I am not getting any younger... will I ever have children? " but time and again I am reminded that nothing is impossible with God. Sarah - wife of Abraham had a child at a late age ( and I don't think God will make me wait that long... hehehe). God is never late and His timing, not mine is always perfect so I praise Him and thank Him that He always fullfill his promises.

I lost my mom to kidney failure when I was 7 years old. My brother was only 3 years old and my sister was practically a baby at 2 then. Back then I felt deprived. Envious of classmates who had mommy's who picked them up in school, took care of them, bought them things. I had a yaya and a dad who juggled his dual role at the same time and I am thankful. I have gotten over that feeling of deprivation now.

Sometimes, I think maybe things would have turned out differently if my mom were alive but what is the point now? Every child will always be in need of their mother no matter how old they are. She was not physically present in every milestone I have in life nor she will be seen on further milestones we will ever experience but I know she is watching over us. She will not be there to give me away with my dad  on the day I will wed. She will never be there to hold my hand while I am in labor and when I have my children, She will never be able to enjoy them. But I know she will be there just as she is right now. Now i know... She never really left - just unseen. I feel her Love around. Happy Mother's Day Mama! I Love you.

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